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Relationship Dynamics - Inspired by a Caveman


Now before you get all upset, I know how some of you like to tussle. I mean this literally. Check out this video here and then come back.


In case you couldn't watch the video. This good brotha is speaking on mysognoir. He uses caveman speak to address a comment. He discusses how Black Women have to deal with both sexism and racism. How Black Men have to deal with racism. How the tools used by colonizers are like a switch blade. One of the tools in the blade is patriarchy. Black women feel the entire switch blade needs to be abolished. Black men feel will in one breath say bad switch blade, but not the whole thing. Thus still doing "massa's job" for him.


So that was the very short, didn't nearly do it justice, breakdown of what made me want to chat. I really wanted to do a video. However, I haven't blogged a lot lately so decided to make this one a blog. So I'll go into the various downloads and streams of thought....


1) Submission. It's the audacity for me. Nah....that's the wrong word. Like... do you even listen to yourself when you speak is more what I want to say. It's all these factions. So the submit or die single collective. This group likes to use the bible. And even THAT group is divided. Some will say the bible wants women to be what the actual word means. Submissive. Follow. He's more powerful. She's the "weaker vessel" (That phrases riles up the ancestral mothers). He has to lead her to God. Etc.

Then you have the other group that, though the definition is RIGHT FREAKING THERE FOR ANYONE TO READ, will say well that's not what the Bible meant.

For the first group, you're not ignorant. You are fully aware the bible has been EGREGIOUSLY, MALICIOUSLY mistranslated. The majority of the text is wrong. Not what was said. It's also written by HUMANS. It's been mistranslated by HUMANS WITH AGENDAS. But please, tell me again how it is Divine Word. The Most High didn't give you discernment and intellect to then NOT USE IT.

In that first group though, there are some of you with this knowing and you STILL USE IT. Why? because THAT translation benefits you. It aligns to your limiting belief. Notice I haven't indicated whether I'm speaking on men or women. Why? Because both are included in that mindset.

So then the "omg that's not what it means" group. Why not use a different word? Then the pearl clutching begins. Why would I use a different word? Because what you say and what you mean do not align. Ehhhh... can't let go of the word hun. It's gotta be submit. Can't be counterparts, partners, etc. Because PARTNERS DO NOT SUBMIT. The two do not go together. They Co-lead. They are Co-present. COOPERATION AND SUBMISSION ARE NOT THE SAME. Some of you are entirely too smart to act like you not.

Ignorance is a lack of knowing... this is not a lack of knowing.


2) I often say I desire a GOD not simply a MAN. What does that mean exactly? A man will walk in a space of limitation. A GOD knows that He has only the limits of his MIND to contend with. What's that book... "As a Man Thinketh". See GOD does not require our submission or obedience. You know who did though. Colonizers. Colonizers needed you to, in my best Khalessi voice, "Bend the knee". Let's be logical. What does God need you for? Seriously. God already knows GOD in Her non corporeal self is ALL POWERFUL. Why would She need you to submit to her. She is literally existing as you and everything else. It sounds a bit ridiculous. However, if you were brought up in a faith that tells you God is judging you, God is watching for you to make a mistake, God will ... you get the point... then of course you will believe that God wants submission vs love. There is no love in submission. Submission says this other person, entity is bigger, badder and stronger than you. Thus thus submission comes from fear. Obedience comes from FEAR. If you don't do what I tell you I'm going to ...

Respect - A feeling of DEEP ADMIRATION

Meaning I like you. In a stronger sense I Love you. If you ask something of me I'll do it because I WANT TO. I enjoy you. I accept your advice because I know that it is for my highest good because I trust you.

So when I apply that to what I desire as my Divine consort and counterpart... Do I want Fear or Love? I revel in the respect, love, and harmony of my divine connection. When the moon is full and I hear, "Oh your power should be really high right now," you have no idea how my heart and soul sing. Still at the same time will remind me, "I want you to let go of any fears and doubts you have in yourself."

I feel safe with God. There is a relationship between the Most High and I that feels like friendship. I'm not afraid of letting God down. We wrote my story together. God already knows the possibility for me to go left when right is the easier path. God simply encourages me to listen to the part of me that remembers She and I are one. That part of me, when I listen, will tell me to go right.

In my consort, I feel safe. I can voice my opinion. I can challenge him. I can be a warrior and a nurturer. All are welcome in our connection. I don't have to war with him though. We meet at the round table. There is no head. Just King and Queen co-leading. Balancing our Divine Feminine and Masculine energy. Together.

However, the relationship dynamics of the "Massa" were not rooted in harmony and cooperation. There was "I lead" and "You follow". Period. And the idea that you can't see yourself trying desperately to mimic what "Massa" had is mind blowing. However, I'm just planting seeds. You might actually be meant to hold on for dear life to this dynamic. Here's the seed. If you continue to try to build this model in your relationships, use this language, and it is not working... Maybe, just maybe, you are OUT OF ALIGMNMENT.

And, because some of you like throwing the word "Sin" around. Sin comes from the Hebrew word "Chait". This word means to not fulfill a goal, make a mistake, go the wrong way, be out of alignment. So... if you keep doing and spouting the same rhetoric and you are fulfilling your goal, well, I'll let you finish.


3) High and Low Value. ROTFL. Do you even hear yourselves? Maybe you should be standing on an auction block so everyone can get a good lookatcha??? You seriously can't hear "Massa" speaking? You are not low value because of ... You just ain't the one for that person. Every person is worthy of having what is divinely aligned for them. You feel a way because there are women calling for rich men. Did you even consider that in their cosmic blue print THAT IS THEIR DESTINY? But you know, let her be overweight and whatnot... how dare she? She needs to do ... to be worthy of ...

You sound ... yeah.

Oh the same goes for the other side. Some of you are not aligned to marry rich. Some of you are aligned to CO-CREATE WEALTH with your partner. See you are misaligned to your intuition and stuck in your ego. You feel the pull but your ego is telling you that you should go for the sure thing. You are operating in your masculine and thus, you have to see it already. Feminine energy doesn't have to see a thing. The 3rd eye is the feminine eye. Your physical eyes are the masculine. So when you rest in your feminine energy (this goes for ALL GENDERS) and allow your 3rd eye to show the TRUTH to you, then you can discern if this person is energetically aligned to you in this moment.

I say moment for a reason. Some of you will never achieve your relationship end game because you don't realize those side quests are actually not filler. They are part of the overall journey. Until you achieve a certain level, you will continue to have side quests to level you up. You are worthy of that divine counterpart, but you are worthy of all your counterpart, including the seasonal ones.

The person for YOU will not care what you do. This goes for the less than scrupulous careers as well. That person may not be your final destination, or they are and you will be the catalyst that brings them into alignment. Who knows.

This is why African and Indigenous cultures used divination. It was not a crutch or a once in awhile thing. It was a tool used to ensure they were in energetic alignment with their path, purpose, assignment, and destiny. Some of you are trying to manifest one person and your spouse is COMPLETELY differrent. But hey... go off.


4) You will not have Sacred Union with another until you have it WITHIN YOURSELF. You will have love. You'll even have joy. Sacred Union though. That's different. Let me through this in there...

Everyone has soul MATES. PLURAL. Not all are romantic. We all have THEM though. ONLY A SELECT FEW WILL EVER HAVE WHAT IS TRULY A TWIN FLAME. Stop trying to manifest a TWIN FLAME. Everyone doesn't have one. A Twin Flame is ONE SOUL in TWO BODIES. They are one in the same. They may be romantic. They have a mission that is so important it required TWO BODIES in order to fulfil it. They may sense the existence of the other and not actually come together. Manifest harmony, joy, fulfillment, nourishment, etc in your connections. The label isn't relevant. The alignment and purpose is what's important.

Ok so Internal Sacred Union is a beautiful ability to ebb and flow in your masculine and feminine energies. It is the natural knowing of when to be still and when to act. It is taking the idea and impulse to create and bringing it to the physical. It is sitting with Divine Inspiration and then taking Inspired Action. If you feel weakness in feminine energy (notice I haven' t mentioned gender again), you will disconnect yourself from your power. Feminine energy is our intangible self. It's Our Spirit, Soul, Emotions, Spiritual Gifts. Feminine Energy is our connection to the Divine. It's the darkness that holds limitless possibilities. Masculine energy takes those possibilities and gives them structure and for.

Both energies PROTECT. One does it in the physical and one in the spiritual.

Both energies PROVIDE. The idea or nudge to get a job or do something that generates income... that is feminine. The ability to attract resources... is feminine. Abundance is an energy and is thus FEMININE. The masculine then takes that idea or nudge and acts on it. BOTH energies PROVIDE. You have to acknowledge the intuition/impulse/instinct BEFORE you can act on it.

Womb holders have a unique connection to feminine energy. ALL humans have it but Womb holders have a literal organ that holds a potent reserve of it. Even if that organ is removed the signature of it remains. This is why Women's Intuition is a thing. Souls and Spirts leave Source/God/The Most High and join the physical body (being created by the Womb Holder mind you) through a portal that is within the Womb Holder. The Womb Holder is the conduit between Spirit and Physical. Consider that the next time you feel womb holders need to be led to God.

Because of this connection to the formless, womb holders can also be outside of time. This is why we can think of a million ways something can occur and action plan for every eventuality. We are connected to them all. Our masculine is what helps us be PRESENT. This is why if a woman is frazzled, the right man can help her calm into the now, to be present in this moment.

Being able to do that within ourselves is what helps us in a union ebb and flow. A man in touch with his God self is completely aware of his feminine energy. A woman in touch with her physical self is completely aware of her masculinity. The ability to go between them within and within the couple is what creates. Sacred Union.

Notice - I didn't mention clothes, cars, colors, etc. Now certain colors are aligned to feminine and masculine energy. Beyond other things like nature and numbers, kind of where that stops. Clothing is simply a means of protecting from the elements and self expression. Your desire to find a reason to dislike, judge, belittle someone for some external reason... feeling real colonizerish.


Here's an inspired action or a few you can take:

  • If your social media is full of content saying black men hate black women and vice versa, I challenge you to reset your algorithm

  • Don't post or share anything negative about relationships. Period. Nothing.

  • You're worthy. That's enough. Don't say it again. The right one will resonate with you.

  • Stop using auction block language.

  • Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Do something different.

  • Be open to your ENTIRE love story. Side quests often have super special powers and tools you receive.

  • Romance yourself the way you want to be romanced. Do this whether you are single or not.

  • Tell a black person you love them.

  • Get an aligned love reading. How do you show up? What does your soul need and desire? What energies will support you in a relationship?

Thanks so much for reading my brain dump :) I hope that seeds take root and help you see more beautiful black love in your world. Have a great day.


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