It's become an annual tradition that has spawned an annual tradition.
November 2020, I'm newly single after 7 years. I'm newly a single mother. I'm in a new home. I'm grieving the dismantling of my family and marriage. I'm grieving the loss of a dear friend that I felt would be there for a lifetime.
I'm grieving even if my emotions are not reflective of the pain within my heart.
I needed...something. I needed to feel a real burst of JOY.
The holidays were upon us and I asked my closed friends if they would come and celebrate with me. I'd never done a holiday party before personally. I really wanted to feel festive in some way. Being who they are, they said yes.
I'm going to digress for a moment. I watched a tarot reading on YouTube about Soul Families. I pick this particular pile and feel naked. Seen in a very obvious way. She states, there is a group of either men or Divine Masculine energy. They will come to you during a storm. Their purpose is to show you that not all men (or Divine Masculine energy) are the same.
The way that they showed up. I may have manifested them but in a lot of ways they absolutely chose me. It's also wild to me that I met them individually but they were, in fact, a package. One came about because I didn't have a car and I was getting off at midnight waiting for ride home.
One then subsequently came during that same time period because he is the best friend of the one giving me a ride.
During this time my ex had just broken up with me and I was just.... broken.
The third, well the second actually used to talk about me to him and vice versa. He came to me at work. Though that was when we met, our friendship truly blossomed when he helped the other two move me out of the home I shared with my ex husband.
Each showed up in the midst of my storm and helped me find calm.
The first one I have already blogged about, but the energy is always the same. Especially, when it is all 4 of us. I am always FREE. When I say that, I mean I am just unafraid to be whoever I am in those moments is an understatement. I just simply enjoy just reveling in them and myself. Last night was no different.
I won't give you a play by play. What I will say is the after effect of the evening is also consistent. I have blogged and/or created a video EVERY year now after these gatherings. This morning I made a video about ancestor veneration. Synchronicity alert! The video was spawned by us enjoying several rappers that have transitioned, but DMX was the longest musical segment. I see a post later that today is DMX birthday. :)
I share all this honestly to illustrate how true, good, sacred friendships can positively influence your energy. My energy is so HIGH afterwards. If you watched us, you would likely think the opposite because I am so obviously human in those moments. However, my humanity is DIVINE. I am resonating so completely without worry that in those moments I am closer to embodying my Favorite Self/Higher Self. In those moments I am closer to Goddess.
Look at your friendships. Look at how you feel in and after their presence. Look at how you are inspired or uninspired.
I am absolutely grateful for each one of them on an individual level. They each reflect aspects of my light and shadow back to me. They help me introspect in a way that is not badgering myself. I am able to give myself grace that, sometimes, they don't give themselves. They hold space for me in a way that honors where I am in the moment. I am safe not simply physically; but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
I feel like it means a lot for me, as a black woman, to say that these black men are amazing. I see how women can say that black men don't like black women and blah blah blah.
Yeah, I can't relate. I won't relate. That's why I'm surrounded, not just these 3, but my a treasure trove of black men that honor, respect, and treat me as both the homie and a lady. For that I am grateful.
To my clique... I pray for you daily. I hold you in highest esteem. I love you. I am ever grateful for you traveling lifetimes with me. I'm honored that in this one all of you are her at the same time.