I'm awake for a sec and my mind is still at the show. I'm just going to post a bit about what it meant for me.
See - doing this show was an act of revolution for me. My intention was to choose a small venue, use my cell for music, not dress up, etc.
What was required for transformation though was a more substantial offering. I needed to give something so that the machete Ogun would help me wield in order to cut down residual doubt in myself would be strong enough. Large enough. Powerful enough to evoke true and lasting change. Those thorny thoughts, ideals, and small notions of who I am and what I could accomplish needed to be cut.
I was frustrated that other things didn't happen prior but the closer time got the more I realized that I needed that energy reserve. Rest came up for me over and over again. Like I needed to let my energy reserve completely fill back up.
I sat at my altar and named the fear. I feared Rejection. I said it doesn't matter how amazing I am, if they don't come and reflect that I'm afraid those thorns will grow back. That doubt will win.
See I believe in my gift in a way that it's confusing to me when others can't see it. But everyone can't look in the light of the sun even with shades on. My therapist told me that I needed to own the disruption my light can cause. Now, I receive that.
Friday morning the message from Ifa was so beautiful and filled with blessings and Ase. My question that morning had been simply to get whatever I needed to know about my show. Mystic Vision. Just now I heard "I can see clearly now".
I can finally cry.
Three times yesterday 11:11 showed up. A fourth time when I got home. I'm a life path 11. This was alignment to me.
I text someone that means a lot to me and said I needed there words. I really wanted to see them. Surprise. I did. In person. Brief though it was the immediate response from the Universe to please me in this way was received.
I stood there in circle and blessed everyone before the show. Tearfully calling in all the Ase needed.
And it was good... so very...
I'll share more later.