Well, didn't see this one coming. Maybe that's not true. Maybe I've been sitting back listening and reflecting on both sides trying to make sense of it all.
From hear forward these are my personal reflections. I am purposely addressing my community. There is wound here that runs deep and I just...if I can put even a small amount of love and ointment on it to bring healing, I want to try.
Between dating coaches and friends, this notion that there is a war between black men and women has been brought up. Social Media can inflate things sometimes. I still think that some parts should be addressed though. Namely these roles we are trying to embody and how we speak on divine energies, masculine and feminine.
Let's say we take the creation story from the Abrahamic faith specifically. I won't get into the which consort was first and whatnot. There is just one part, "God created man and woman, HE AND SHE, in OUR IMAGE". This raises questions for me. If we are BOTH created in the image of the Most High, how is either vessel weak? Plot holes. This is where you need both faith and logic together to create discernment.
Who is the Creator? Short version EVERYTHING, ALL. Bet. So ALL would be masculine and feminine at the same time right? Can't be ALL in one way but only some in another way. That wouldn't make sense would it? Discernment.
So the Most High created man and woman in their image. (Apologies if the pronoun their triggers you in some way. Nah I'm just kidding. Get over it.) So in their image would mean we carry the energy of both masculine and feminine at the same time.
Why then do you have people that feel the need to introduce themselves as "masculine men" and "feminine women" as if you aren't walking around with both energies in you simultaneously?
My personal opinion. Colonization. I won't limit it to slavery on its own. This is a shifting of the paradigm that took place. Just imagine. The Most High walked our lands first. Our creation story happened first. The others did happen, but OURS was first. We were fully aware of our divine connection before anyone showed up. So much so that we didn't need the language of man and woman in order to function and cohabitate. We just did.
You want to control people? Strip them of their heritage. Strip them of their religion/spiritual practices. Put them with people who don't speak the same language. Put warring tribes together. Beat them. Steal their children. Rape and breed them. Take away every bit of the divine light they have and replace it with whatever you want.
This isn't a slight on anyone but the version of the ideal relationship that keeps being spouted sounds a lot like the slave master and his wife. It just does. When in Africa women were decision makers, priestesses and more. There was a deeper understanding of who women were in Africa. This was not feared or shunned until colonization took place. "You let your women do what?" Can't have that. Too much power.
The Mother is the heartbeat of the family. She is. When you weaken the importance of who she is, well you are then able to control the mind of the man and how he sees her.
Men and Women can be either dominant in their feminine or masculine. The organs they are born with do not dictate this. Their spirit does because feminine and masculine have never been about gender and have always been about energy. Once you allow someone to come and say men are "suppose" to be masculine only and women are "suppose" to be feminine only, you've created an immediate division.
Feminine Energy - In short but not limited to:
It is the energy of infinite potential
It is vast and dark, mysterious
It is creative and expansive
It is nurturing and loving
It is boundless
It is intuitive and spiritual
It is deep knowing and feeling
It is sensual and intimate
It is receptive and open
Masculine Energy - In short but not limited to
It is the energy of form and substance
It is light and seen
It is will and drive
It is organized and structured
It is logical
It is doing and acting
It is giving and closed
It is sexual
Notice at no point did I say either was weak or strong. That's because if you are only acting from one side you are not living to your fullest potential. Example: I got an idea. The idea was not fully formed. It's moving and forming. I just had a deep knowing that it was something I wanted or needed to do. At that moment I'm in my feminine energy. I am open to this idea. I am receiving the intuitive nudge. I'm being inspired.
The moment I put my hands on this keyboard and begin to type, I am moving into my masculine energy. The idea is becoming form. The creation is coming from the dark recesses of my mind into the light of day in this blog. As the masculine energy starts to move, the will to write is penetrating the void and grabbing the words. Thus this blog is being birthed.
The power is not with one or the other. It is the harmony of the two energies together.
Men absolutely carry feminine energy. Every time you watch a father playing with their child. That nurturing, loving, and comforting energy is feminine in nature. He is still a MAN by gender (if that's how he identifies), but he is operating from the feminine half of his psyche. When he is working and providing tangible resources for the family, he is in his masculine energy. When he sees his wife and she looks exhausted, so he holds her close and reassures her that he's there to help. That is nurturing. That is feminine energy. When he walks on the curbside holding her hand as they go down the street, he's protecting her. He's in his masculine energy.
Mothers are a prime example of embodying both. We are loving and caring nurtures. We provide food for our babies. We will go to war with someone trying to hurt them as well. We ebb and flow between our masculine and feminine energy fluidly and most don't even realize it's happening.
The creation of the world was an act of harmonizing the unlimited potential in the word and mind of Source, with the light of Source, creating form. Fun fact - cosmic egg that is often used to describe what encapsulated the big bang birthing earth, That's a womb. :)
So, even as a "masculine man" or whatever, you can't love and nurture your partner if you have no feminine energy. The idea that a "feminine man" who leads with his heart and is nurturing can't also be a provider and protector is ludicrous. It's simply a matter of which energy the other person is most attracted to on the front end.
The same goes for "feminine women"... these terms man. She can be nurturing, loving, caring, supportive all day. While being all that, she can be a fierce protector of her loved ones. Every time she has an idea for what to cook for dinner. Her cooking the meal isn't at all feminine. The idea in her head was feminine. The act of her cooking it, that's an action, that's will, that's MASCULINE.
This back and forth about, well he or she can't be this or that and still get a man or woman is just wounds masked as advice. Women who are successful in their careers are no less feminine, then men who stay home with their kids being less masculine. Men who stay home are providing support for those children. They are protecting those children. That is masculine energy all day long. Women who go to work have an idea, a vision that they want to see in the light. Their trigger is very much feminine.
Black men and women have been given a doctrine that told us this is what a marriage should be and there is no other way it can possibly look. If it doesn't look just like this it won't work. Are you seriously going to decide what the model of the black family should look like based on the ideas of people who enslaved, raped, and brutalized your people says? Discernment.
If waving my magic wand would do anything for my people it would be to just stop and think. They would have you think that the woman is weak. The black woman weak? The vessel that the Most High touches and allows souls to come to Earth through is weak. This beautiful creation carries souls in her body for 9 months. And then, for some, creates life giving food and feeds that baby for months, sometimes years. The Black woman who stood on the front lines to protect her black men during the civil rights movement. The Black Woman who stood on the front lines during these riots and protests in the last few years. This, this is who you think should stand and be treated as less. Remember who is truly birthing this world.
Black man you are not weak. You have been tricked. Black women aren't trying to outshine you. We are remembering who we are. It is manifesting in a few ways. Not all healthy, that's probably true. Still. We are remembering that we were never the do as you are told type. We are the goddess on Earth. We were partner to you. You once sought our wisdom and counsel. We sat and divined together. We weren't brought to the Most High by any men. We were always with Source. We were one.
We should not be black man vs black woman. Even if your preference is to date another Ethnic group, the love we have for each other should always remain present.
I love you Black Man. I love you Black Woman. I hope I see more union between us. One Love.