Eku Odun Ifa| Coming Home

It’s a Celebration! – (Rick James/Dave Chappelle Voice)

When I was little, birthday parties were a big deal. My mom decorated cakes. 

{I imagine that if she would have kept going, she’d be one of those bakers making cakes that we watch in videos.}

She did the whole shabang…cakes, treats, a meal, games, etc. Friends would get invitations and show up to celebrate me on my birthday. I loved celebrating my birthday as a child, even as a teen.

When I got older, I was searching for that same feeling. I would spend the money to have everyone come to celebrate my birthday. I think back at how much money I spent to see some of those folks once a year. SMH.

A couple years ago I said I was no longer spending money for others to celebrate my birthday. Growing up in a house where everyone else was happy it was your birthday probably hasa lot to do with it. Truth be told, my mom still offers to do something for my birthday if she’s able. She may not always be able to do a party. But a dinner, some cookies or cake, yep at this stage in my life it is still a thing.

It’s a celebration of life while you are living. It is also a celebration of your Ori. Of course this revelation came later. 

When I was coming up on my first year in Ifa, it didn’t look the way I expected. Still, I wanted to celebrate my Rebirth Day. Celebrate this new aspect of my life.

Year one I didn’t know much about how it should look. I did know what I wanted it to feel like. Though there was a very large piece of that picture that would be missing, actually several, I still wanted to have a celebration – people, food, music, etc.

About two years ago, I got to experience an Odunfa in person for someone else. OMG…. The Energy. 

I wanna be clear, this wasn’t like 100s of people, mass processionals, or anything like you may see in videos.The love, respect, appreciation, gratitude, joy, care, etc. were all radiating in that space. That was an Odunfa. 

It was honestly life changing. It was a celebration of Life in Ifa.

This is for…. You (or Me rather lol)

I prayed for an Odunfa this year, just not my own. That part is truly important. I prayed for what I hoped someone’s Odunfa would be like. I did not pray for what I wanted mine to be like.

This is a celebration of my life with Ifa. All the ups, downs, twists, turns, learning, success, failings, everything. And though I had a vision of what I wanted in my head. I did not actively pray for that vision.

I simply wanted it to be good and accepted by the divinities.

I secured a space for everyone to be able to fellowship at. I still have it locked down. I’m going to pull my name off the calendar for at least today and tomorrow.

Why?

It’s just me. 

And that truth only hit me this morning. Why am I going to lug all my shrines across town, set up a space, take them all back home, for me to sit in a room alone?

It didn’t make sense.

The reality is I wanted it to feel like the celebration I was quietly craving inside, that I did not ask my Ori to bring to reality for me. 

Still…. This. Is. For. Me.

I am grateful for folks that may pop in and out on zoom. I adjusted some times to accommodate people being able to be present. 

This is for me though. 

What do I need so that my festival is accepted? This is my offering to the divinities each and every year. What do I need?

For years I have been chasing this feeling of who is in the room. The thing that truly means the most is, me being in the room. Me singing. Me drumming. My energy rising to the cosmos to say…

Thank You

I am grateful

Bring me more Ire

Guide me to my fullness.

This is not to say I never want a communal celebration. I do. I didn’t ask for that this year. I just hoped with no prayers. 

I did pray for a good Odunfa. That is what I prayed for. I prayed for that over and over. I asked to have what I need in order to make this a good Odunfa.

And it will be. Zoom will be open. And I will be wide open.

What did I learn? I am ever reminded that thoughts in my head do not equate to prayers on my lips. What I want should be worthy of utterance outloud if I truly desire it.

Reflection Time

Even leading to my Odunfa, still learning.

If you are reading this blog, that means you likely read the others… THANKS. LOL. So, you know that last week I was in a depression spiral for a moment.

When I look at everything that led up to me spinning out, it is a summation of what I didn’t do as well as I should have this year.

1. Covering myself in prayer. I didn’t nearly pray over myself, or the things that meant something to me, the way I should (and could) have this year. This year I was still dealing with a feeling of unworthiness. So, I wasn’t asking for all the things my heart truly desired. It kept coming back that I need to pray 2-3 times a day. 

And I do. And what I prayed for was effective. Still, I wasn’t praying effectively. I would      get this nudge to revisit my life plan Odu. There’s a verse that effectively states that what I pray for I can have it. I just need to take it to Ifa. It’s only in this last month or so I realized what I was NOT doing. There were things I greatly wanted, maybe even needed, and I wasn’t asking for them. 

Also, protection. Now, yes I ask for protection. However, I needed to make some very specific requests. I remember having a conversation about a feeling I was having on who to pray to. In the conversation I said I consulted Ifa on the situation. They asked me for the Odu Ifa and I told them. They gave me a verse I didn’t have. (One time for community!) That verse, gave me the answer. So I made my prayer and offering. 

EACH AND EVERY TIME I do this I am reminded of the efficacy of not just prayer, but mine. It’s even in my life plan Odu summary. This is one of my gifts. Heck, it’s in my first name. I simply was not using it well.

I go to my Ori, Egun, and Ifa every day. But I wasn’t GOING to them every day to the capacity I could have been.

2. GIVE THE EBO. Perfectionism is a hell of a drug. I was reminded of the verse where the man gave fish bones in order to see the ire of children.His son is the Awo in the verse. He was in poverty, yet he had fish bones and they were accepted.

I often tell my students to give what they can. Come ask me if it will be accepted. That Virgo North Node I got keeps me over analyzing instead of asking. I have moments of remembering that, but I’m not as consistent as I could be.

Asking…. I get to do that for myself as much as I do it for others. And I was further reminded of the energy generated when gathering your materials. The work is already in motion if you pay attention.

Stop waiting for the perfect congruence of things. I can go ahead and get bop bop bop, now. Get it. I’m waiting on… GIVE THE EBO. 

3. I’M WORTHY, YES I AM. It isn’t skill, gifts, talent, etc. that stops me. 

   1. People - the wrong people close to me, in my circle, in space with me - that energy will do it if I’m not protecting myself from it.

   2. Self Doubt - Limiting beliefs are my biggest opp. 

   3. Fear - Did I mention limiting beliefs?

I met someone this past year, an Iyanifa in Nigeria. When I say she had asked me multiple times why am I holding back. Lady you just met me. LOL. HER Elder asked the same question, why haven’t I fully emerged yet.

Y’all see what year I’m celebrating. Every piece of media says… I am not ready. Every divination says, you are ready for all these things now. It doesn’t mean I’m not still learning… I am. 

What it means is that there is medicine and wisdom I do hold that I am not sharing or putting into action.

Be on the lookout for this kickstarter… book is ready to be published.

4. I am exactly who I think I am. I was blessed with a breakdown of my Odu Ifa. Now, I did into my Odu. However, it is nice to have another Elder look and share what they are seeing. OMG. Read. For. Filth. In the best possible ways. It’s so accurate that just a week ago something in there was actively happening. 

Every bit of work I am, or quietly planning, is in my Odu. All of it. There are things I thought of… right there. There’s so much and all of it is in alignment. It’s just a matter of when.There’s some I will do after a few more certs under my belt.

There’s A LOT I could be doing right now.

So why am I not.. I am exactly who I think I am. However, whoever, I think I am… She is who manifests. She is who is acting, attracting, doing, etc. Until I see myself fully as the woman walking with that Odu, she can’t fully emerge.

You couple my Odu with my Birth chart, Numerology, Human Design, and Gene Keys… If I just simply meditate on this woman… smh.

I AM WHO I THINK I AM.

So, I wonder who I think I am today? 😀

What’s next?

That’s …. There’s so much. 

Books. Books.  Did I mention… Books. I have a list of books to write (or finish) and publish. The kickstarter is so I can buy ISBNs and actually OWN MY BOOKS vs using the free ones on these platforms. I want to leave a legacy for my children to continue to benefit from for generations.

Teaching. There’s so much changing in that arena. One of the first things I was told is that I will teach the children Ifa. Emphasis on children.

Does that mean I’m no longer teaching adults? No. I just have to engage with them a bit differently. I love teaching. I hate lecturing. I’m revamping the learning aspect of my work to better honor my energy and be more in alignment.  I’ll still offer workshop opportunities as well. I’m going to redo a few classes as well for my self-paced adult learners. Stay tuned. Ori Pathways will be ready for relaunch sometime next month. I need to get through festival month first.

Orisha Festivals. This is for me with an option for folks to join me. I am an Iyanifa and Iyalorisa. I need to host celebrations for my Orisa, not just on their Eku Odun. I have dates in mind already. I will be holding them with an option for folks to pull up. Just did Oshun this month. Oya, Egungun, and Sango will be finishing the year out.

Ancestral Connection Services. This is a biggie. After officiating that homegoing a few weeks ago, I know what I need to do. My Odu is very clear. My Egun have been clear. My Ori is crystal clear. I just need to make the conscious decision to make the move.

Women’s Healing Services - So much to say here.. I’ll talk more soon.

Energy Cleansing - SMH - yeah so much to say here…. Give me time to roll these things out.

As you can see… I got things. LOL. I have one more week of celebration and then I’ll really be back into working on stuff.  Stay tuned.

Gratitude

There is so freaking much I am thankful for.

I am thankful for life though. I’m thankful I still get to be here. 

I am thankful for Ifa trusting me with this journey as an Iyanifa. 

I am thankful for the community. 

I feel so full. 

Stay Tuned

I am going to clear up my distro list again. If you are not getting updates (I haven’t sent one in awhile) and want to know when the new things start to show up on my site, please make sure you are on the mailing list.

If you made it this far, thank you again. You are appreciated.